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DISGRUNTLED: The Lewis Applewood Story
Episode 3: The Award"Honey, come quick!" Lewis shouted from the living room.
"What is it?" Linda said, sprinting into the room, expecting something had broken.
"Well, what do you think of this?" Lewis was pointing at the mantle above the fireplace.
"You've gotta be kidding me. Where are the pictures of the kids and our wedding portrait?" Linda's tone quickly turned from concern to anger.
"I can't believe you! I make employee of the month and I don't even get a congratulatory high five." Lewis exclaimed, obviously annoyed that his wife hadn't run up to hug him and shower him with praise. Maybe even a butt slap, like he had won the big game.
"I've shown that I can get that promotion I've been talking about. The boss can't overlook this." Lewis continued, trying to make his wife understand that this could be the big break he needed to move up in the company.
"Your 'award', is just a peace of notebook paper with 'Employee of the Month' written in red Sharpy pen. And I hate to break it to you but you are the only employee, Lewis! You're it! There's no one else! What's your promotion going to be? Senior VP of skid-marked whitie tighties?" Finally Linda, was letting Lewis know what she thought about his home-business venture.
"Yeah, well your meatloaf looks like my skid-marks!" Lewis fired back.
"Yeah, I've been meaning to talk with you about that. Maybe you should go see Dr. Peterson, because that can't be healthy." Linda, slowing her attack out of concern for her husband, rallied, reloaded and opened fire again.
"Another thing, Mr. Applewood." She continued. "The kids and I aren't your employees. There is no reason Billy should be filling out expense reports for cookies he eats, and stop giving Sarah such a hard time, they don't write receipts for her school lunches. You can't right off a school lunch just because you make her say 'Lewis Applewood Inc.' to the elementary school cashier. And, If you make me schedule another appointment for one of your evaluations, I swear I'm gonna switch your Folgers Crystals with Maxwell House."
"But, It's the best part of waking up." Lewis said in a shaky, childlike voice.
Linda, reaching her breaking point, pushed Lewis aside, marched over to the mantle where his cherished Employee of the Month award silently screamed, in fear of what was about to happen.
She snatched up his award, swiftly, before he could react.
"What do you think your doing? Put that back." Lewis demanded. Walking over to her.
Linda, wasting no time, back handed Lewis right on the cheek as he let out a girlish scream. Lewis cowering from his wife's attack, watched in horror as she stared right into his eyes and crushed his award in her hands.
"This is what I think of your award!" Linda yelled. Feeling at peace.
She brought the balled up award over her head, and like a major league baseball pitcher, threw it at Lewis as hard as she could, hitting him in the side. Lewis shouted in phantom pain, as he held his ribs.
"You've gone too far this time! You leave me no choice, I'm filing a complaint!" Lewis said, as he retired to his office, holding his side.
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